Already two weeks in?! I can't even believe this! The first week was the longest week of my life, I thought I would never get through it! But wow, where to start?
This week was an emotional roller coaster ride that none of us wanted to ride... we did though. There were a lot of mental breakdowns, a lot of failures, and a lot of things learned the hard way. I think the only way I've survived this was because I have depended so heavily on prayer and the Spirit. All my lovely roomies have had moments where they didn't think they could handle this anymore, or each other (except Sister Jackson she's a literal angel). Many times already I've had to be the mediator. I've had to smooth over ruffled feathers and reason with the unreasonable. It's been pretty hard being positive all the time. But I love these Sisters, and I just want them to love each other to the point where the quirks and flaws don't matter anymore. I don't even see them anymore! We are going to go out into the world and meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. We won't have the luxury of running away and not facing the problems we might have with the people around us. I feel like I'm starting to understand the unconditional love the Savior has for us all. He sees us as we are, and as we could be. He doesn't care that you're imperfect, that you're introverted or shy or awkward. He doesn't mind, he just loves YOU. It's pretty incredible.
My companion and I had a rough start this week teaching investigators. She was coming unraveled and I didn't know how to comfort her. She wants to do her best at all times. So when we weren't getting anywhere with some of these people, it just crushed her. Our teacher, Brother Holmes, who is a spiritual giant, took us aside and had a chat with us. He told us that the reason we weren't having these amazingly powerful spiritual moments was because the Spirit is always with us. He also told us that the reason things get harder is because God trusts us. He sees our growth and maturity and gives us more opportunities to learn and grow.
We were in tears by the end of it, and he gave up thirty minutes of his time just to comfort us. It was sincere, and we really felt his love. I decided that this was how I wanted to teach investigators from now on. I want them to know I care and that my heart is sincere. The next few lessons we had were strong with the Spirit, and I cried through a prayer given by an investigator who had been wary of praying in front of us. It was just so wonderful. I'm so grateful for the people God allows us to meet in our lifetimes.
I just remembered that while my companion and I were studying with another companionship from our room, we were all having a rough day and there was tension between the other two sisters. Then, out of the blue, these Spanish speaking Sister missionaries come right down the hall at us and talked to us for a bit. They told us that they loved us, and that things will only get easier. They then bore their testimonies to us in Spanish and we were all crying and I can't tell you enough how mysterious the Holy Ghost is. I know they felt prompted to come to us, and that just testifies to me even more that Heavenly Father is aware of all of us and he knows exactly what we need when we feel lost or comfortless.
On a funny, lighter note, my first Sunday here was spent during a blackout! I did my makeup with the light from my tablet (that I had the foresight to charge the night before) and we had sacrament meeting in the dark. It was pretty awesome. The lights would come on, and we would hear cheering, and then the power would go back out again. I got to hang out with the Asian branch where half the testimonies were borne in Korean or Japanese, it was so cool! We also had a weird Wednesday night when Sister Beckstead got a cheesecake in the mail... didn't think you could send perishables?? We spent the night trying to defrost it enough to eat it. I sang in a choir for our Tuesday night Devotional where Elder Bednar came to speak. We sang "Nearer my God to Thee" and it was such a beautiful composition, and the choir director was hysterical.
One more week till I leave for Kentucky! I don't have enough vocabulary to describe how excited I am!!! My flight schedule is a little on the crazy side, but I think we'll make it. I can't wait to meet more people to love and learn from!
With Love, Sister Wilcox xoxoxoxoxox
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